My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
