I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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