No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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