Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize