im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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