So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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