but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
