Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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