Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
