I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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