tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
So. Much. Porn.
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