i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize