I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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