tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
