you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
