Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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