JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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