So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize