come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
NoShamevember. You game?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
