She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
