theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
