Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
