you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
