too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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