South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
