woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think pants incapable of making pants work
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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