Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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