Define "chronic" masturbator.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
