To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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