im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
