Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
