Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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