If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
