cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
