Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
