Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
