her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
