Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
