Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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