brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
