Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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