WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
