She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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