i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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