oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
