all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
