Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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