Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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