I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
