Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Randomize
