Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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