she was so not down for the gang bang
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
