I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize