Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize