I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
