You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize