you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize