i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
