Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
