I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
