I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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