I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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