i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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