It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
