I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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