im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
