hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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