PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
