now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
