TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize